Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Brave

When you think of Brave what comes to mind? A policeman, firefighter, a doctor, someone in the military or even a lifeguard. certainly I would never think of myself as brave, but this is what people are saying I am.

They are saying this because of the recent surgery I just had to put on a external fixator, in efforts to get my finger to move. I don't consider myself brave for doing this, desperate is more like it. I actually consider myself more brave with dealing with Rheumatoid arthritis than this. Rheumatoid Arthritis is forever, hopefully this cat bite will end soon.

I think anyone would do the same thing as myself, given the circumstances. I am a girl I would love to have rings on my fingers again, I would love to open jars and even stick my hands in my pockets, even wear a glove. I cant do that right now. I realize my finger will never look like the other one, but functioning would be good.

I cannot describe how painful this is, there are no words to describe the pain, sometimes the pain is subtle other times intense. Often times just downright so painful I can't think. Yes, I am taking pain meds every four hours, but they just take the balling, crying and pacing pain away it doesn't stop the pain. I am used to pain after all, thats Rheumatoid Arthritis middle name, but this is different this pain is extreme.

There is a wheel on this device that needs to be turned daily. The doctor did it today in his office, I could have passed out. I  held it together despite the pain. until you have this device on your finger you will never know how much this hurts. Maybe I could be considered brave because of this device, I think anyone in my position would do the same.



1 comment:

  1. I am so happy to see you living your life to its fullest.

    Arthritis

    ReplyDelete