Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Hurdles

Each day, we all have hurdles to go through, maybe for some it is just waking up , others the drive to work and for alot of us just getting through a day at work. Well recently, I fall into each of those categories and then some.

I am becoming frustrated and disheartened with this on-going finger. I see the surgeon tomorrow to see what his feelings on it. I have been off of all meds before the surgery and now after, in hopes of thwarting off an infection. So far so good on that, except that is one small price to pay for not being able to thwart off Rheumatoid Arthritis.

My finger was operated on as scheduled on September 9th, I was excited to see my finger bend and make a fist in the operating room. I was hoping to see those same results at home, days after the surgery. But unfortunately my swelling has been a problem and not allowing me to be able to have the miraculously bending that I was able to achieve in the operating room. The surgeon said it was because of the connective tissue diseases I have. I wasnt surprised to hear this when he said it. Maybe it was his delivery that made it difficult to hear.

After this surgery has healed and I achieve some movement back, I am supposed to have another surgery on the bottom of my finger in order to make my finger straight. I know alot of people would think I am crazy to continue trying to repair this one finger. But for me its huge. I want it to be repaired back to as much as it was before I was bitten.

I was talking to my son the other day and letting him know that I was struggling, my finger was painful, my rheumatoid arthritis more painful. He said mom, you are probably the strongest person I know. He continued to tell me that he tells all his friends about me and always tell them what an inspiration I was and how strong of a person I was. I nearly fell over. I rarely talk about how I am doing, I rarely talk about how much I am struggling. This made it apparent that even without me even speaking about it, it is obvious to him that I am struggling.

I will continue to go through these hurdles with as much positive energy as I can. Hopefully these hurdles will be fewer and fewer.

I am posting pictures below some are graphic so if you dont want to see them, please don't scroll down.
My finger is blue/black from Raynauds


















Having an RA Flare
 from Surgery










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